Out of my control…

Hah! Recently I’ve felt so overwhelmed about a lot of things! Things like spending habits, responsibilities, the future, accountability and lots of other things…. and in all this, the common factor is control. Control in ME spending money, ME bearing the responsibilities, ME trying to shape my future, ME trying to keep promises, ME trying to please everyone, ME trying to FIX EVERYTHING!

Yeah… it just doesn’t work. I can’t control the change in someone else’s feelings, thoughts or actions. I can’t control what’s going to happen in the next second as I’m typing this next word- let alone 10 years from now. For all I know I could meet with a fatal accident on the road to work tomorrow and not be able to see all those I love before I die. I can’t fix anything because I can’t control the outcome of any situation.

I keep saying I know that I can’t do this myself and that I need God’s help…  I keep telling myself that it’s impossible. But I don’t think I really fully understand what I’m saying. I don’t think I realize that when I’m least in control of everything around me- that’s the time when everything is in control. And not by me, but by God.

I can worry about things and it won’t help. I can try to convince people and write eloquently but that won’t change a person’s heart. I can try my very best to please everyone but there’s always going to be someone who you’ll disappoint and just not be good enough for. I have to realize I am not in control of anything. But to have circumstances under control I have to first learn to trust God that no matter what happens its happening for the best. I shouldn’t have to try and change what I think is a bad situation because I don’t really know what the end result will be. Mankind hasn’t even understood time fully, and here I am trying to affect the future to what I want it to be. We all take Emotion for granted and don’t even know so much as the tip of the iceberg about Emotions, and here I am trying to change a person’s heart or feelings. We know nothing about the pain Jesus felt when His own Father turned His back on Him for a while… and yet He controlled Himself instead of damning humanity for good, and here I am talking about being in control…..

Crazy… right?

 

No matter how out of control things seem, everything is really still in control.. in His hands

 

Wait just a moment

Ok so I’m not as constant of a blogger… at least not as much as I hoped to be when I started out. I think, as I look back, that I blog whenever I have something that really caught my eye, made me upset, or just feel so bottled up (not necessarily mad or upset.. just stuffed and in want of letting things out).

Two weeks ago I heard a sermon at church about waiting. Now how cliche would that topic be… not just for Christians, but for people in general. Everyone seems to be in a hurry these days for everything. Whether it’s at McDonalds when someone else is ahead of you for their morning coffe and you’re going to get out of the store 20 seconds later than you anticipated or whether it’s about huge decisions through the course of life- like what school to go to, or where should I work. We want everything now. This moment. Not 10 seconds from now, but 10 seconds before now.

It’s a hard concept to grasp- this.. waiting. Well.. don’t you think it is? Like really sit down and think about it; or better yet.. I’ll let you in on what’s going on in my mind (forgive me if it sounds jumbled.. or doesnt make sense..):

“Ok. So I’m done with school now. Well.. yeah, I have 4,000 hours of apprenticeship to do and then do my Red Seal exam. Then I have to start saving up from now for the future so I can support my own family someday. Ok the job at the golf club is good, but not good enough. I can’t start a future with this!? I want something better.. now! I mean, yeah, it’s only been 3 months since school has been over and I have already got a job in my field, but so what?! It’s not where I want to be so it’s not good enough! I mean, I can’t keep going on like this can I? Oh! A car! I need a car.. but I don’t want my Dad to pay for it. But I need it now. With work and all, and just if I want to go out… it would be really nice. But for that I need a better job. So what if it’s only been 3 months since school’s over! I need that perfect job now! I can’t wait! There’s too much at stake for waiting! “

That’s just a part of some of the issues we all face. We don’t want to wait. We always have to have everything now! And if we don’t then we start to worry. We start to compare ourselves to other people. We start to become restless, agitated, upset, jealous, depressed….

There’s a time for everything… Time to work, time to play, time to laugh, time to cry, time to love, time to chastise, time to eat, time to sleep, time to endure challenges.. there’s a time for everything. But with rushing things, we’re trying to take time in our own hands; forgetting that only God has that power.

You know, if we only trusted God with all our troubles in the first place, we wouldn’t have to worry about where we would be or would like to be in the future. We wouldn’t have to rush anything because we know that whatever He does, He does for our good. And that He makes everything beautiful in His time.

Simple example: I was working in the kitchen this week and on two of the days we were really busy. But the outcomes of the two days were completely different. The first day that it was really busy caught me by surprise. I panicked. Started rushing orders out when the other half of one order that was being prepared by another chef wasn’t even done yet. I was rushing everything because I let circumstances get the better of me. I didn’t wait, look at the ticket with the orders, think about what goes on when. Instead, I started rushing everything and almost created a mess out of the whole service. But the second time, one of the cooks talked to me. Told me to relax, asked me my strengths and weaknesses, told me to wait, think, and don’t panic. That was one busy service, but it couldn’t have gone smoother than it did.

I learned how important it is to wait. Commit everything to God and just wait on Him and his perfect time. Wait! Think before you do anything. Stop worrying about the future and just wait and let it happen.